Withdrawing

I woke up today,
Remembering the old me,
As the saying goes, new friend old foe,
This time it's my face I remember.
Lost in a suspense -
Of the old me and new me,
I'm lost in dreams, but not the kind I like,
The maze is pulling me back in.
There's this human,
She keeps me sane, I'm lost in her ways,
A beautiful heart with a good soul,

I could write for days about our laughs,
She's a reminder things could be good.
Tripping on myself,
I question my direction, should I step,
My heart calls out to the art, the dreams,
My mind thinks about the messes instead.
Maybe I should -
Take this step, it's been a long,
Since I wrote about sobriety,
Maybe my burden is getting lost in my mind.
Clinging on,
I'm not ready to fall,
That hole was deep and cold,
I need my eyes clear and my mind quiet.

Music numbs -
The thoughts, and the beats become my hope,
Is this what you want for me,
I question the universe, the doubt,
Am I going insane or I'm lost in my mind?
I wanted to leave the art,
The pressure to write the best my mind could imagine,
But lately, I'm losing grip on my soul,
Just silent words roam my mind day and night.
Hold my hand
I need to stand
I need to stand
Take my hand

-Khushi Kaul