Stillness

Hey, what are you up, to by the way?
hey ...
A long list of nothingness,
I close my eyes and it's a new day,
In the middle of blinking, it's me trying to figure out how to walk,
A beautiful story, you might say, it's not.
Holding on to myself,
I know I can fall; the dark has been calling foul,
Dancing with the devil, the light has been keeping me awake.
Searching for the truth,
Part of it brought me to your foot, burden of youth,
Part of me wants to let go, the other still believes in the hand in the sky,
I smile, knowing in the end, someone would've chosen me.
Chasing the winds,
Yesterday I walked on a road,
Felt air between my fingers, birds were chirping,
A beautiful song for mother, the creator.
The light from east -
Shone on my face, the smile held hope,
My mind swirled in the moment,
The sky kept calling my name,
My feet held me to the ground.
Lost in the in-betweens,
Sobriety and feeling the winds,
Words that move, those from her lips,
Stillness after a good high, counting steps ...
One,
My heart beats slow,
Lost in a rhythm, same old song,
stepping to the beat, the road is memory.
Two,
Moving forward,
More of myself comes to the surface,
Still stepping, yesterday I fell down hurt my head,
The secrets of in-betweens, I don't know how to fight this.
I'm falling back,
The stillness is becoming part of me,
Searching for silence, I've been numbing too much.
Count your steps,
One forward, two back,
I don't fear time, in the end, I'll find him.

-Khushi Kaul