Separation

Separation comes in many forms
But the worst is that of death
Can't see them, can't talk to them
More often than not, we let go of them
In the worst of terms
Which eats us up from within
Thoughts of how we could have done better
Should have done better
Or worse think we should be the ones dead

Acceptance is the first step
Yes, they passed away
And no matter what you do
They won't come back, ever
Maybe that's better
We can't hurt them no more

Grief is the second
That overwhelming pain, you feel
That insatiable burn inside of you
Direct it towards something worth living for
Don't let their death be in vain

Guilt comes next
Know that it is not you
And it's not because of you
That they aren't here
Yes, you could have done better
But you can still do better
For others, learn from mistakes
Not delve into the past and get stuck there

Numb is what we feel next
Emptiness, the expanding void within
Know that it will get only get worse
If not controlled
Think about them
Would they be happy
To see you spiral into depths of depression
Because of them

The last stage seems like a sham
Because we feel moving on is never an option
Letting them go seems impossible,
Insensitive and selfish
But that's the difference between
The living and the dead
They are forever in past, and we are ahead
Alive, breathing
Holding onto them means never really
Forgiving ourselves
But we deserve it
The grief and trauma we go through
Is enough of a punishment
We can't bring them back
And they won't like to see us in pain
So, we let them go
Move on, it's not easy
But at least we try
If not for ourselves but for
For the sake of ones who died.

-Khushi Kaul