After Love

What does it mean to find your heart's desire,
What happens when it backfires?
Will your heart keep bleeding,
All because your heart was leaping.
Now you ask yourself why you thought they were the one.
After that everything that was holding you together came undone.
The only thing you can do is cry yourself to sleep,
As the pain you fell in becomes waist deep.
When you wake up and there were still tears in your eyes,
And you were still mad at yourself for falling for their lies.
You get out of bed, but you find out that you feel distant.
You thought that you might as well be non-existent.
You had no motive to do anything,
Because your heart felt like a really heavy thing.
All you thought about is why you had to move.
You knew your feeling was what you had to remove.
Everybody including your friends didn't notice anything wrong.
I should have done this all along.
This numbness should be lifelong.
It felt like in me it belongs.
Sure, at times you will feel empty,
And you might look a little grumpy,
But at least you can act like you are happy.

-Khushi Kaul