Longing

Stars shine too bright sometimes
And it's tiring.
They disturb the only colour that speaks my heart's language,
The brightness is loud and they take up space,
Heavier and heavier as the light grows bigger.
And sadly,
Too many people have stars in their eyes.
White, red, and blue,
Colours I've never related to these.
Too many people reek of countless hopes and dreams,
Things that I'm still foreign to.
But his were empty, emptier than mine.
And strangely,
I found them comforting,
Like a warm blanket wrapped around icy skin.
They held enough space for my undefined sorrows,
And was hidden away from voices and chaos.
He longed to run away and so did I.
I could sneak in there,
Lay down and take a rest,
And smile at its vast emptiness.
I could sit for hours and hours in silence,
Watching the birds fly by,
And the slow blooming of wildflowers.
His darkness felt light, almost feathery,
Like the calming cold wind on a sleepless night.
Maybe that's the reason I loved him,
For the silence and the absence and the vastness,
And the unmasked desire to escape from all that's familiar.

-Khushi Kaul